So it's fairly clear already that I'm better than most of you, but for once this isn't so much about me as it is about my fiance being better than me and consequently ALSO better than you.

Also by mere virtue of being engaged I'm required to become infused with obnoxious beliefs about the joys of marriage that single people simply cannot comprehend. But this isn't really about my delusions as I said before because my fiance IS actually one of the coolest people I've ever met. No, no in fact she IS the coolest person I've ever met and I say this with a sober and rational outlook not skewed by subjective conspiracies like 'love-drunkenness' or 'regular drunkenness' or anything to do with the fact that I love sex and would be scared of losing access to it by saying otherwise. No, I mean this in the most sincere fashion of which I'm capable and allow me to explain why because I know the two or three people who read this channel are just DYING to know, right? So let's make a numbered list or something because I have a lot of free time.

1.) My fiance is less uptight than I am.

I'm not the type of person who goes around burping or anything intentionally, so don't get me wrong she's not disgusting, but I AM the kind of person scared of peeing if I think someone can hear me in the next room. Well my fiance would not only be happy to listen to me and giggle while I do but on top of that describe to me how hers reminds me her of the hunger-inducing scent of buttered rice. I've never had buttered rice before and after that particular conversation and the personal meme thereby consequently spawned from it there's a pretty good chance I never will. However I've never laughed so hard in my goddamn life or been so comfortable in my own skin and not been scared of my humanistic tendencies.

2.) My fiance is way more organized than I am.

Don't get me wrong, I'm someone who loves routine and when I get into a day-to-day rhythm that's when I'm most comfortable. However, I have a piss-poor memory, never write anything down, don't prepare for anything and am generally lazy. I've admitted this to myself many times over the years and am not really ashamed of it because quite frankly it works for me so back off and leave me alone. That said, until you've had someone with you who actually knows what the hell they're doing most of the time, you never realize how poorly prepared you really are. Not to say I couldn't keep doing things the way that I do, but not all methods are created equal nor do they all work the best for everyone in every situation. Sometimes I need someone to keep my head on straight and help do what I need to do in an organized fashion to keep from going insane. Well, I happen to be engaged to that person so go me I suppose. It's hard to ever feel lost when you have someone like that ready to help you whenever you need it.

3.) My fiance is hot and loves sex

Nuff' said.

4.) My fiance is intelligent is insightful, thoughtful and intelligent (also goofy and fun)

Some people have that friend that they always get into intellectually stimulating conversations with or frequently end up debating when issues come up. Some people have that other friend who is completely off their rocker sometimes and can be just plain weird but in a way that makes you open up and have just as much fun with them. I just happened to have stumbled upon someone with the disposition of both, often at the same time which takes all the stress some people might accumulate from conversation that requires a lot of introspection and focus. There's nothing quite as satisfying as discussing the dangers of education reform by fundamentalists capturing the Texas school board while simultaneously saying "I'M WATCHING TOO FAT FOR 15 WHILE EATING CHIPS AND DIP IT'S AWESOME" (not a direct example, but a direct quote and a good idea of what I mean).

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In conclusion, though not without conceding that I could probably write a dozen points like these and still have more to say, I've found a pretty fucking awesome individual who happens to satisfy in me in nearly all aspects of my life. I'm one lucky sunnuva bitch and I don't think I've ever been so happy in my entire life. So good luck to the rest of you who are not as awesome as I am but are looking for that girl or guy who is because believe it or not they're out there. Or maybe there was only one and I bagged her already in which case haha sucks to be you!